This is for my lovely friend i lost couple of days back in Simla. I do not know who to blame but yes its a true love story dedicated to every parent out there !!
It was 12 Noon and i receive a call about my lovely friend in Simla - "Ram", and i believe he deserves an applause.
------------------------------ The Story --------------------------------------
I would like to introduce "Ram" as a person who was Jolly like hell, soul surfer, true from heart (i can say this with full confidence, having known him from 15 yrs or as far as i can remember), loving and lovable, career focused and i believe am running out of adjectives for him. But let me take this as an opportunity to say he was a true "Family Person". You will come to know why i remarked him this explicitly.
Ram moved to Simla around 5 years back to work for a telecom firm. His family being in Mumbai, he couldn't see them much . However, he was so connected that he couldn't bear small health issues for anyone in his family like Running Nose. Well, having said that he fell for a girl at his workplace. The girl was not from his caste and yes she had minor health issues; but as they "Love lies in the eyes of Beholder". She met with an accident off lately and limped at times while walking. But being lover, Ram helped her exercise over the call, waking up early morning, entire day together at work, helping each other till night. Nutshell, their Life was magical for them.
Ram never conveyed it to Aradhana, he had told his parents on the very first day and they were too against the reasons explicitly mentioned above. Ram decided to keep fighting till they got convinced. Till one day, the level of frustration was so high he got drunk and told Aradhana everything. Very next day considering everything, Aradhana and Ram broke apart, to respect what their parents wanted.
Just within few days, Aradhana quit the job and moved to Gurgaon. Ram's Parents thought it was infatuation, will go with time and there is nothing called love. According to them, they had ample experience with love marriages and since there some relative has a bad experience, it will be a curse for their family. Obviously, any middle class person has his respect on topmost priority (common in Indian families).
Ram couldn't focus on his work, spoke to proposals for "parents sake" and it went on.
Ram continued to flow with the wind for an year, he kept going on . His soul was gone, he stopped talking to anyone in workplace, he didn't have much friends either, tried to focus on studying books but no concentration, everytime he tried to highlight his problem, his family gave him no support. Eventually he stopped talking about his problems back home and he tried his best to be happy with their happiness. No one realized what he wanted or rather i should say everyone simply ignored that.
But his soul was gone with Aradhana. Now, crying in dark room , thinking looking at the roof was quiet normal. Aradhana thought he is happy and tried to be happy in his happiness.
One fine day, while coming back from work he was spoke to a girl he had said yes under frustration. He wasnt the same anymore, he was highly frustrated from inside, parents avoided talking to him and remained to the point considering everything is ok. Anguished and frustrated, driving across the highway he met with a major car accident and died on the spot.
Aradhana heard the news and stopped walking altogether. Since his death couple of months back, she is on bed. Parents heard the news and got traumatized hearing about their only son.
I am sad hearing this story . But i want to ask 1 question is this a murder or a suicide? I believe it was sheer murder. I wont be biased saying if parents would have been in place of Ram , no one would have been happy then too. Its frustration in the home that kills some or the other person.
---------------------------Options as a Kid ---------------------------
What is required is to be happy for parents and kids in such cases ?
I have two options as an ideal child (considering going against is bad, shall put that in the end):
Option 1 : Do whatever parents want you to and crucify yourself !!
My Views : Is that really definition of marriage? I think its giving back to Parents and paying them for what they did for you all those 30 years. Crib from inside and live with something called "Adjustment" . I ask Parents, is this really what family is all about ? We do pay the hostels for being a guardian. I think this was the path something Ram chose. But please sit back and realize isnt this killing your child just because of Society ?
Option 2 : Do what you want to and crucify Parents!
My Views: I dont believe in this either. If a person loves someone and if its a crime, why is No Government across the world listing it and arresting people for love marriage? Is not, the child should never get married without parents consent.
--------------------------Mid - way solution / Request to my readers ----------------------
I request all those parents out there, trust your kid before he looses confidence on himself. Even Government of India knows a person is decisive enough to vote at 18!!! Am talking almost double the age (late 20s / turning 30). And i beg all the parents, please grow with education and if you believe in God, every God or religion teaches us to love. Being a Hindu, i would say Krishna or Shiv ji , they are worshiped and they are famous for being Love Pray!
Lastly, just realize the family reputation is with the Kid, If that chain breaks someplace families are ruined. If Kids can sacrifice not saying anything, please respect their beliefs in important decisions of their lives like Marriage !!
I am being biased here because at the end of the day, your kid is supposed to be a parent tomorrow and yes at 30 dont tell him / her who they should marry !! Trust them and spread love which is above all religions or "Reputation (which is an abstract term in itself with different meaning for different people)".
